meyertimothyj


The Fabulist

Compiled Computerized Charlatanism


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Cruel and Unusual Punishment
meyertimothyj
Chapter: 17
Page Count: 201
Word Count: 107,000 words
Nemo's Bounty: 250,000 Commercial

"The three of them, a drunkard, his saltbrother and the Galactic Menace, had individually cultivated effective immunities against the most drastic of alcohol's consequences on underlings, crewmen and strangers alike and neither Nemo, Odi or Ott are even remotely rattled by Brondi's evidently advanced intoxication."

I warn you. I am, in fact, inebriated.

An action scene approaches in Hull Damage that features a very intoxicated Nemo, fighting a number of bounty hunters and it felt rather disingenuous to describe his mental state without necessarily experiencing actual drunkenness.

So, my girlfriend and I decided to do some hands-on journalism and get swasted. Captain Morgan and cheap Kentucky bourbon were the poisons of the evening and, though Tom Waits demanded the latter, the former is severely tastier.

I'm trying not to over-analyze, in fear of chasing the sensation away and failing to commiserate with our lush of a Captain, but it's kind of a paling experience. I don't think I like it.

I suddenly drastically sympathize with my boozehound protagonists, who just guzzle alcohol with little or thought to the consequences. This shit is nasty. Especially gin.

Those poor bastards.

Until later (maybe?)
- T

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Just in case you decide to repeat the experiment in the future, general tip for hangover avoidance: drink a glass of water for every drink (bottle of beer, glass of wine, shot of liquor) you down. It keeps you hydrated enough to dodge 90+% of the next day's misery.

And as an added bonus, everyone you were drinking with who did not do this will hate how cheerfully you are watching them stumble around.

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